“You never change something by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” – Buckminster Fuller
In the work of anti-racist mothering and community building, this quote by Buckminster Fuller strikes a deep chord. We often find ourselves exhausted by the constant battle against oppressive systems. But what if our energy was better spent not just resisting, but also on creating something entirely new, something rooted in the values of justice, solidarity, and belonging that we wish to see in the world?
Many of us came to MAR because we wanted something better for our children, and for ourselves. The systems around us felt broken, leaving us uneasy and questioning how we could create safer, more inclusive spaces for the next generation. Things need to change, but the way we have been doing change doesn’t seem to be working. We need a shift.
This shift means moving away from old ideas about how change happens and instead trying new ways of thinking, acting, and connecting. It’s about small, intentional actions that, when connected, form the foundation of something greater.
This past Saturday, eight MAR members came to my home to watch the first episode of Black Life: Untold Stories. We then connected virtually with five more MAR members to have a discussion. We talked about enslavement in Canada and what it took for Black people to not only survive but also bring change. Liberation took connection, imagination, and the deep-seated belief that they deserved to take, not just give. It took showing up as themselves, having the courage to speak their truth, and bringing people together to build community. It took time, intention, and determination. It took keeping focused on something better and not being consumed by what was.
Adrienne Maree Brown reminds us, “Small is good, small is all.” It’s the concept of fractals; that patterns repeat at every scale. When we focus on small, values-driven actions within our communities, those actions ripple outward, creating networks of change. This approach mirrors the heart of our work as anti-racist moms. We can exhaust ourselves by focusing on fighting school boards, workplaces, and institutions that refuse to change... or we can also channel our energy into creating spaces where our children, families, and communities can thrive. It’s the difference between protesting exclusion and building spaces of inclusion. Between condemning harm and cultivating healing.
As Audre Lorde famously wrote, “The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.” Our liberation cannot be found solely in fighting the structures designed to oppress us. Instead, we build something new that is rooted in love, equity, and community. And while the work may be slow and imperfect, it is enduring.
We see this in MAR's initiatives from the Healing Together program, which offers spaces for restorative connection, to Diverse Book Baskets, ensuring children see themselves reflected in the stories they read. These are not just programs; they are models of the world we’re building, one where belonging is the foundation, not the afterthought.
In the end, our lesson is clear: true change doesn’t come from tirelessly resisting the old but from courageously creating the new. And when the weight of injustice feels overwhelming, remember: small is good, small is all.
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